Similar to what naynay has pointed out, high functioning can be exhausting at times. I have to give all my energy to pretend everything is ok to get through the work day, only to crawl in bed and be glad it's over, afterwards. It's hard to keep that mask on all day when you'd rather be hidden from the world. So it's a blessing and a curse. I can work full time, pay my bills, keep a roof over my head and a car in the driveway. But the flip side is that when you are going through and episode, you have to keep it all in check to appear "normal" to keep all that you've worked for.