I want to try I really do, but this bipolar sh_t is getting so tired already. I wish it would just kill me already instead of just messing with my moods.

I am desperate, trying to find a reason to hold on.

Then I think of my family, my wonderful best friend and my therapist I will leave behind knowing he failed me. I don't want to go on, but I push. I push so damn hard. This is the worst day I have had in a very long time and I don't know why it happened, it just did.

Please, please Dear God, let me survive.