(((((((( Rohag )))))))))

I can relate to quite a bit of what you've shared here..

My parents also had a very unhappy marriage, I believe the paternal parental unit had NPD and perhaps the mother too

I also have no siblings..

I "failed" to keep them together. I was only 5 years old when "she" (the Step Unit) came on the scene. It was my fault, I wasn't "good enough" to keep them together

Have you read Malignant Self-love
Narcissism Revisited
By Sam Vaknin

I wonder if your mother (maternal unit ) suffered from NPD? (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

I can't believe that you "don't try hard enough" (from all you've shared with me and on the forums)

Your maternal unit had an inability to love, imo.

I'll be interested in other replies to this thread. Thanks for sharing ((((((( Rohag )))))))