I've been having trouble with T for months now around feeling he is disconnected, distracted, and really not there for me. We talked about it a few times, and it sort of felt resolved, but then I hit a really bad patch a couple of weeks ago.

Basically, he just wasn't there for me. I never ask for help outside of session, and never directly ask for his help if I am feeling s***al. He didn't return my texts or emails (we don't do that very much, so it's not like it's routine) and couldn't fit me in for an appt. We did finally talk on the phone for 15 mins, again, the theme was whether or not he was truly there for me.

Next session he basically ignored it, made not effort to work on a plan to help me stay safe, and was...I don't know...just not there again.

I was not going to go back after that. But I really didn't want it to end like this - still not really knowing whether it was my perception, transference, reality, or a mix .

So this week I talked with him. Told him I had been extremely angry after our last session (not like me at all), that I felt really let down, and he was starting to feel like another person in my life who was supposed to be caring for me, but wasn't doing their job. I said I was back because I wanted to use this as part of the WORK, and really get through it this time instead of walking away with more unresolved hurt in my heart.

He was brilliant. He agreed that we could work with it, and told me the most precious thing of all: my perceptions aren't off. He didn't go into details (he knows that would drive me out the door in 30s flat), but said that he had been 'full' for the past few months. It didn't feel like he meant from a work perspective but from a stress-cup perspective. It felt like it was something personal. But anyway, it was incredible to have my perceptions validated, to know what was real, and to know I am dealing with somebody who respects me enough not to ******** me, tell me it's all in my head, or make me feel crazy.

He acknowledged that he hasn't been paying enough attention and he has been careless with me (that's a big thing for me...being cared for).