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Sure, but where's the line between a bad/less than ideal childhood and being "wired differently"? Maybe part of the reason I didn't get my needs met as a child was because I was different and my parents didn't know how to meet my needs. Although to be fair, my dad was an a-hole. I think personally, that effected my self-esteem more than my empathy directly. I was just wondering if parents were supposed to show a child how to have empathy, like they teach them how to tie a shoe or something.
Maybe both being "weird" and my childhood both contribute. Although, unlike you, I didn't realize I didn't have normal empathy until it was pointed out. I don't know if that makes any difference. I'm also still sensitive and emotional. I'm pretty neurotic honestly.
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I'm not a psychologist so I can't speak from anything other than personal experience so take what I say with a grain of salt.
I think genetics do play a role on the level of empathy a child grows up to have along with how good of a childhood they had. I also think that it takes an extreme amount of trauma and abuse to turn into somebody completely void of empathy as an adult.
In fact, sociopaths are born in this exact manner. Unlike psychopaths (which are a completely different thing entirely), sociopaths are made into what they are by experiencing some sort of significant trauma or neglect typically before age 5 and/or have had a traumatic childhood. They also need to have a genetic disposition to develop sociopathy since a person without it would likely develop into something else such as a BPD or DID or something like that.
I've actually spoken with a couple different diagnosed sociopaths about this topic and I extensively sought knowledge on this subject for awhile because for a time, I believed that I was a sociopath as well.
Even if one doesn't develop sociopathy from a traumatic childhood, it still is possible for one to have less empathy as an adult from something such as another personality disorder or other condition.
As far as empathy having to be taught, I don't think it does. I've seen plenty of young children (age 5-8) seem like they genuinely cared about other people. If empathy had to be taught, would a child that young really seem to have more empathy than many adults?