Thank you for your replies! I really appreciate it.

I figured it was a coping mechanism but I was wondering why the stories are always so full of hurt and abuse. I can't say I find them very comforting, and they can even trigger mood swings... like I'll suddenly feel very depressed or lost, even suicidal.

My usual dissociative episodes are depersonalization. I start feeling like I'm floating, my thoughts are slow or so foggy I can't keep track of them. I have a hard time talking or moving, I stop feeling my limbs or feel like they are not mine. Even when I'm aware of it all, it's like part of me is asleep and there's nothing I can do to wake it up.

But this, with the stories, is different. I guess it feels more like derealization, I feel estranged and like I don't fit in with the rest of the world anymore. I can't relate to people or feel anything towards them. It's like the rest of the world is on fast forward and I'm trapped in a bubble, with no sense of time.

What confuses me is that the characters are not me. They don't look or behave or think like me. But I certainly feel what they feel, and most of the time these are not fun or happy feelings. If I were to make up stories simply to "escape" the reality because of pain or stress or any other strong negative emotion, why would I trap myself into an even more painful story?

I can't really make sense of any of it... I keep trying to just ignore it and move on but it gets to a point where it takes over my life.

I will search through the Dissociation forum. Thanks again!