I"m not sure. i deleted some posts from earlier tongiht. I got cuaght up in arguments, it sucked so bad. but i kept engaging.

My therapist did something that he knew would harm me. He used my vulnerabilities against me. It really triggered me. I am just realizing why it's affected me so much.

my therapist is not the sociopathic person from teh initial trauma. He's tried to help me but gets mean to me sometimes.

He had no empathy and knew he was harming me. It seems like something innoculous, and he had a script about why he did it to make it seem like it wasn't done to harm me. i feel gaslighted.

It makes me feel like i'm being stabbed over and over in the chest.

It gets confusing when people start telling me that i have no right to be upset, that i'm being unreasonable or demanding. He knows me well and knows how i would feel about what he did-but he still did it. When i told him how much it hurt me, he sat there and looked at me. I was crying from other PTSD triggers, and he just looked at me. he talked to me in a stern voice and never showed compassion. He knows how to talk to me kindly but was mean.

I know i should distance myself. can't get in that mindset. Just keep feeling worse and worse about myself.

YOu are right, that's no other way but to distance yourself. i kept thinking it could get repaired, that we were just off track, or had transfernce that could be resolved. Maybe that's still posisbile, i don't know. it feels traumatic to leave.