I´ve thought about the therapeutic relationship and that I quite often feel bad, disappointed or sad after meeting with a T. At the moment I see a counselor and it´s not therapy in a traditional meaning but the relationship is similar.

I understand why there has to be certain rules and boundaries in a therapeutic relationship but I´ve realized that to me a lot of what goes on in such a relationship mimics distance and rejection in real life relationships.

• The fact that the T (in most cases) share very little of themselves is similar to me to the relationships I´ve had with classmates, knowing almost nothing about them and feeling lonely.

• That there is very little reciprocity makes me feel like when I was little and tried to join in on different games during play breaks in school.

• There is a huge distance between me and the T as she doesn´t share much and I share a lot, I feel I spill my heart out and mostly the T won´t express anything even if I share sad stuff. It´s the optimal rejection.

• It´s also very similar to the relationships I´ve had with friends in an adult age. That the time is very limited, about an hour, is the same to me as when a friend has very limited time to see me. Perhaps she has a child or work and I´m a very low priority.

• To a T I´m a very low priority as well, she has both other clients and other family and friends, to me that´s rejection as well.

When looking at it this way I understand why I often feel bad over therapy and now when I see this counselor some of those thoughts come up as well. It´s not that I want to give up on therapy all together and the rules and boundaries won´t change even if I feel this way.

But therapy is really a trigger for negative feelings and creates a concentrate of rejection and distance.

Someone else who feel like this?