I wish people who had hurt my had been as honest and apologetic as you have been. I'd say you're ahead of most people in that regard.

It seems to me there are really two decisions here: 1) what can you do to make up for what you did and 2) do you want to continue a relationship with him.

For 1), perhaps you can just tell him you're genuinely sorry and you want to try to make it up. Talk with him about the problems your choices created and how you can do something about those problems. But also be honest with yourself about if you owe him anything. I know it's never as simple as saying "we're even" but if you really feel like he mistreated you, maybe its a viable option to just apologize for your part in the problems and say that you both made a mess of things.

For 2), that's a pretty sticky situation and there's assuredly no easy answer. However, dealing with 1) would probably go a long way towards dealing with 2).

You're being more honest than most people about mistakes. Try not to beat yourself up.