My Support Forums - View Single Post - Duty vs Desire || Potential SA triggers

justxholdon · Apr 15, 2017 at 04:38 PM

*** SA trigger warning*** possibly?

I identify as asexual. My partner knows this and claims to be on the ace spectrum as well, but she's 'demi-sexual' which means she needs an emotional connection before she feels sexual arousal/attraction.

So I wrestle with feeling like I'm holding her back. I know what she wants and yet I've started pulling away from even innocent touches knowing where she wants it to go.

I give in occasionally. I start feeling guilty that it's been too long and that that's not fair and let her...you know.

And this is her birthday week so I feel like I should ... like that's what good gf's do right? I just I really hate sex.

I'm also on meds that contribute to low libido and difficult achieving orgasm.

Possible trigger:

So it's hard to not feel like I'm just a toy for her to use and that doesn't help with my SA past. She's rough and likes it fast and the times I've tried to talk about it or guide her in ways that might feel less bad - she's ignored and defaulted to what she wants and I ... I'm starting to get the feeling that I'm just hurting myself letting this go on.

The obvious answer is to just talk to her but how do you tell someone that? I'm so freaking mortified and terrified to post this. I'm not even sure if this is the right place for it. I'm sorry.