darkeyes... that's a shame.. especially the story about the kid. That has counter-transference written all over it! He should not tell you things like that.. *his* embarrassment is *his* problem. It's just plain wrong that he told you and did so in a way that was geared to make you feel bad because he felt bad. Bad form all around. That's totally his stuff.

from what i read a while ago, it seems it's more of the traditional psychoanalytic analytic types who object the most... wonder if i can find the article/website. They seemed to be more into the "why" of it all. i mean.. can't a gift just be a nice gesture? dang.

i tested it out... i brought T a little chocolate snowman. He thanked me, quite happily in fact, and tucked into his desk drawer... when i looked a little disappointed that he didn't just eat it he said "well, it's Lindt right?" i nodded "then i am saving it for one of those moments when i really want chocolate."