Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron
It is the one-sided boundaries which make this possible. My T doesn't need anything from me, his needs are met elsewhere, therefore he doesn't defend his own self-structure in his relationship with me.
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I found the opposite to be true. Most of my therapists, in varying degrees, had their own self-image and identity wrapped up in the relationship. They were there to feel needed or in control, sometimes desperately so. I get sense that Sarah's therapists have been asserting covert needs for power and control. I think one of the big lies of therapy is the image of the selfless therapist. No way. They are drawing hard on the therapy bong, when you are not looking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron
I think what ultimately separates this from other relationships is that both client and therapist go into the relationship with a mutual understanding of the boundaries and function of the relationship. That clarity removes all the foggy confusion which can make real life relationships so dysfunctional.
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I have found therapy relationships the most confusing, most ambiguous, least defined of any I have had. Real life relationships arise out of spontaneous circumstances and have context that orients you. They are held together by mutuality and authenticity (ideally). Therapy relationships are contrived and held together with string and twigs.
I think Sarah's observations in the orig post are totally valid, and not due to any misunderstanding. This idea that feeling rejected in therapy is some sort of path to healing is absurd. Nobody in this biz takes first do no harm seriously. Feeling rejected, degraded, abandoned, suicidal... it's ok, it's all part of "the process"!