I understand, sorry you have been having some difficult days. I totally understand that as I have experienced that myself.

The name you picked "Darkness is my friend" is interesting. What I have tried to show you though is how darkness can turn into something productive instead of destructive.

Human beings are the most intelligent, yet, we are still animals and have a lot of basic animal instincts that we often don't understand. Anger and hatred are emotions that is "very" recruit-able too. Defend and destroy have always been a part of human nature. And so much of what humans have created has been used in both of these areas, one to defend and the other to destroy.