Thanks again for the replies. They all help. I am glad to see I am not the only one in spending time in denial. Maybe the reason I am not more aware or accepting is that I am an only child. I have never married and spend most of my time alone and in my head. Always have. So I am always talking to myself. Maybe I just don't know the difference between my thoughts and those of the others. I have been trying to reach my little girl voice lately and I thought maybe she was talking to me today saying that Daddy hurt her. I said I know and am sorry but Daddy is dead and can't hurt us anymore. It then seemed like she was sad that he was dead. I didn't know how to react because I hated him and am glad he is dead. Then I think maybe I was just making up the whole conversation in my head and forcing the words. I have never been more confused in my life. I just wish I could close up Pandora's box and go back to my old naive miserable life before all of these skeletons and memories started coming out of the woodwork. I also guess I would accept it more if they talked to me more and I was sure it was not just all made up in my head. There have been things that have been said to me that I cannot explain, things that I know I would never say but not enough to convince me yet. Thanks again all for sharing.