Dear T,

Let's do something else. Anything else. Like, literally anything. Let's talk about beavers, or you can show me how to fill out a w-2 again. We could watch youtube videos of octopodes, or look at pictures of cats in sinks. I could teach you how to use an apostrophe. You kind of suck at that.

Remember that sign in the waiting room? The one about how to spot stroke's? And you told me that defacing clinic property - even for grammatical purposes - wasn't really appropriate behavior?

We could go find the people responsible for that and I could teach them how to use an apostrophe, too.

Point is, we have options. Right now, I think the only thing worse than seeing you and doing that would be...I don't know. Getting a root canal? Without anesthetic? By a fifteen year-old dentist who can't stop telling me about this really brilliant guy nobody knows about called Nietzsche?