I don't think I can. It's been five days since my parents left for vacation. I haven't seen any of my friends or loved ones since then and I've had my first three days of work and my friend A is too busy to talk, my parents can only have brief messages with me, but I have been able to talk to my grandparents but they are getting ready for their own vacation. I feel really sad with this new job being such a big deal and then no face to face contact or be able to really go into details about how I'm feeling and how work is going. Last night I called my grandparents and asked if they had plans for Easter and they told me they were getting ready for their vacation, and a few minutes later after they hung up they called me back and told me I can come visit them today because they felt bad knowing how sad and lonely and stressed I feel and that we can have dinner.

But here's the thing...if I lived on my own, then I will have no one to come home to and see and talk to besides my cat...I'll be isolated. Right now my gripe is that I can't stand the politics of my parents work and have to listen to how miserable my parents are and how they can't retire, and if I lived on my own I can get whatever pet I want...a dog, a snake, a bunny, even an octopus if I really wanted to...but then...I'd still be isolated even in a house full of animals.

I don't know if I can handle being on my own...if I had a boyfriend I'd live with them...and my parents said in six years I can live with them when they retire or I can take care of my grandparents, so there's no pressure to "have" to move out. I can stay with them as long as I'd like. But sometimes I wish I could move out and have my independence, live my own life. But I'm worried about the isolation.

I usually post some kind of question as some kind of "reward" of making it to the end of my post, but there is none. Comments and advice are welcome, but right now I feel very sad and lonely and isolated and bummed that I don't think I can handle living on my own.