Quote:
Originally Posted by here today
cinnamon_roll,
I can identify with your experience and "way of life", too, but I had years of therapy that did not help, and made things worse, because I got rejected and shamed by the therapists and was not yet "in touch" with my early feelings of rejection until finally, several months ago after an intense re-traumatization by my last therapist I "connected the dots" -- well, at an emotional level, it could hardly be called a "dot" -- and saw how many of my ways of life had been set in place to compensate for that feeling.
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here today, I know what you mean - getting in touch with ourselves, connecting with our feelings seems to be especially hard, when you've been avoiding those feelings all your life. After all there are reasons why we've been avoiding this connection, mostly because those emotions were 'dangerous' in one way or another...
For me, the fact that I was literally falling apart at the time because I couldn't keep going like before 'helped' me to get in touch with my emotions. Not that I had much choice really. But ironically, looking back this may have been good for me, even though things were pretty raw and messy back then. But I'm not sure I would have reached that point without this pressure and without this desperate feeling that I can't cope any longer...