Tonight, I feel like I need to know I am really here. I feel like there is something lurking inside and I need to somehow get a release. I am fighting to cut as that is how to find a quick release. And though it does not last, it gives what we need at the given moment. I am fighting to hold on as it has been awhile since we have cut, but the urge is getting stronger. My head is hurting and the voices and never ending sights continue to invade my mind. Will it ever stop? Will it ever go away? THe night seems to bring it on even stronger. I am trying to hold on, we all are.

cami