Captain's log 3.14159265358979323846 slice number 12.

In a trip to the Chuck E Cheese restaurant on double D deck I won my brain back in one of those quarter plastic egg dispensing machines. I also got a really nice yo-yo with my 373 tickets I won playing skee ball.

The holodeck has been programmed to present an exact replica of the ship in life size. This really messes with new recruits as they can't tell when the simulation ends. Or am I in the simulation now? Damn it you guys!

Our munitions order came in and they screwed up the order. Our 30,000 photon torpedos are actually no bigger than single photons and were delivered in a single capsule the size of a tylenol gel cap. Unless we're firing on paramecium, we're screwed.

The Heisenberg compensator has malfunctioned and is now compensating for Isaac Newton.

Cyran0, captain of the PC Starship Enterprise formerly known as Jefferson Starship, out.