You get half of the money, the assets. If you all are in a good position financially---you will not be broke. You get 50%. That includes the value of the cars (equity) and equity in your home, his 401(k)...anything earned during the marriage.

Depending on the state (ask a divorce lawyer they give free consultations)...you may well be entitled to alimony. If he works a lot and you've raised the kids...you may end up having more custody time. He will be ordered to pay child support.

My prior therapist was also a child counselor, family counselor, marriage therapist and divorce mediator. My marriage counseling had failed (H said it was a waste and made no changes to improve our marriage).

My therapist gave me two pieces of wise advice:

1. Decide if you want to stay in or get out. Don't go back and forth as a couple. If you want out, get a good divorce attorney, and GET OUT and STAY OUT. If you want to remain married, COMMIT and STAY.
2. He said it is not the fact that parents divorce -- it's HOW they divorce that impacts the kids. Let the kids be kids. Keep them out of the process, the arguments, don't talk bad about the other parent.

I left a 20 year marriage. My daughter is much happier and is glad we divorced. She loves both parents and we split custody.

Was it easy? No. Do I regret getting divorced? No. I'm happy....my marriage was abusive and I have a new lease on life. I'm free. I met a wonderful man, too. There's life after divorce.

I had to make my exit quick for my safety. I had a plan of where to go live. I told him I wanted a divorce. He was shocked and angry, but agreed. I walked out the door quickly, as he was trying to force me to stay in the home. I had what's called a "high-conflict" divorce. Talk to a divorce attorney (don't tell your H) on how to make your departure if you're in a controlling or abusive marriage. Don't threaten divorce. If you decide to divorce, GET OUT and STAY OUT, as my therapist told me.

Take care, whatever you decide. Your children will adapt and will be fine if you keep them out of the process.