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Originally Posted by UglyDucky
Thanks, dlantern~~You are correct that dissociation was not part of my diagnosis when I was tested. However, my T is noticing it now, so I'm assuming part of my dx has changed. I know when I've dissociated when T talks to me - I don't know what was said and have to ask them to repeat. Apparently, though, I don't or haven't dissociated when I talk. Maybe T and I haven't gone far enough to know if I'm DID (approx 24 months of therapy). I have repressed the first 12 years of my life re: my mother. I recall Dad and my brother as a toddler, but any memories of Mom are missing. Guess we'll see what happens and we go...
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If you're missing chunks of memory that's quite often an indicator of some form of dissociative disorder.
I'm always super dissociated and depersonalized and just plain out of it in therapy. Partially because it's a nerve-wracking experience for me and I don't want to be there, but it's also because I'm trying to let myself be relaxed enough that I can just try to talk naturally and others can come out if necessary.
When I'm so bad that I'm just blanking out, sometimes the T stops me and gets me to do some grounding exercises. Maybe when you or your T notice that you're really far gone you can stop for a minute just to quickly ground yourself before you keep going?
The other thing that might help is to have something physical with you that you can fiddle with to try to keep you a bit more present in your body, or a drink that's flavoured and/or fizzy.
My T and I have also set up a system where when I'm totally unresponsive she calls my phone and that usually snaps me out of being out of it because I have a reflex to answer the phone from previous jobs. Is there something like that for you that you could use?