I'm so sorry this has happened to both of you! Sigh. I, too, suffer from PTSD from a disabling accident 18 years ago. I "lost" all my friends and family in that process... and I can't blame them, but only now am I learning not to blame myself: it is the nature of the "beast" = PTSD.

He will never be the same. But then, are any of us as time goes on? I'm sorry you love him so much. But I am also thinking you are such a good friend for him, and he needs you, but it may be a very long time before he can respond like he used to.

You need counseling with professionals who are experts in PTSD!!! It is very difficult to understand, and often "regular" care providers don't get it either. My T tells me that he counsels with family of PTSD sufferers, the family SEES and LIVES with what that person is experiencing, my T explains to them and they still don't "get it."

It's good you're in therapy, for you. You need to be able to be secure in yourself, being your own person and not "needing" someone else to make you complete. That might help you stay in this relationship, should you choose and be able to.

He may very well need to hire a lawyer for disability... few ppl are allowed the first time they apply. The only good news is that once it is approved, the monies are retroactive to the date he first applied.

I feel your pain, and his through you.