I have CPTSD and I've mustered up the courage to do trauma work. I'm unfamiliar with the process, but I trust my therapist.

That said, I seriously am questioning the timing. I was ready to get going on trauma work...but had a huge mental pause yesterday. I'm sole caretaker to my dying stepdad. I love him very much and I want to take care of him. The stress did put me in IP several weeks ago (bipolar mixed episode). He has terminal pancreatic cancer and he's declining rapidly.

His death will be a huge loss for me. I've grieved the loss of my biological parents and it takes time. I'm OK with it. It's difficult, but necessary.

I'm also a single mom and taking care of my child is very important to me, of course. She's a teenager but she still needs her mother. We are close.

QUESTION: Why does my T want to start trauma work now? I'm disabled, going through a major life event (which is why I hired her...to help me cope) with a dying loved one....with massive responsibilities for caretaking and settling his estate after he passes away? I've already learned I need to put my self-care first to take care of my stepdad. My stability is crucial. Is adding trauma therapy right now logical?

I can't fathom how this is an appropriate time to do serious trauma therapy. I've had a lot of trauma...I think it will take time. Why now? The added stress could easily trigger a bipolar episode, as well.

I'd appreciate feedback and opinions. She's a relatively new T. I like her and trust her - but now I am seriously questioning her timing. Is her judgment off? Does she have a financial motive (she's a single mom - maybe is financially motivated for her) to keep sessions frequent for an extended period?

I pay out of pocket, no sliding scale. She has trauma experience...but something feels "off." I thought maybe it was avoidance on my part, but I don't think so. I want to do trauma work and improve my life. But right now?! My trust that I'm in good hands with T is wavering due to this.

Thanks.