I was thinking some more and thinking about how I ask my husband to tell me my strengths everytime I start a new self-help book or something that asks for them :-) and realized that strength is also realized through trust in one's self and one's abilities. You, SweetSunshine, trust that what I tell you will be true! And, following that "truth" to its logical extreme means that you already have the strength. You have already done the work to become strong! You had to want and know you could do what you did in order to do it, didn't you? LOL! So, believing in yourself and your abilities to become strong and trusting also helped you actually become that.

I automatically know/trust my husband's judgment which means I trust my own judgment of my husband's judgment. I just take whatever he says and go with it, even if I don't "recognize" it in myself yet. I know it is there because I know he has good judgment and doesn't lie and because I trust him to tell me what he sees. So, it is just a matter of my owning up to what is there.

It gets to be a lot of fun when I "use" my strength I don't quite see yet and rely on it! Back in the mid- to late-1990's one day my car died. I happened to be at the grocery store and when I turned off my engine smoke (not steam :-) started pouring out from under it.

There was a gas station with repair bays a little ways down so I walked there and talked to the mechanic and he said, since no lights had come on, that it was probably safe to drive it that little distance. So I went back and got it and drove it to the gas station. The guy does some preliminary work and thinks it might be a head gasket but, he can't do that and it would be $1000 to just find out (and if it is a plastic head gasket, the world comes to an end and it can't be fixed) and if it can be fixed, it would be another couple thousand; blah, blah, blah.

So I'm trying to figure out what to do. Another customer comes up to the mechanic, who turns out to be the owner of the station, and starts talking about a car parked off to the side that was the owner's grandmother's who passed away. The owner is trying to sell it for $4,000, it was worth $2,000 when he got it and he refurbished it, putting another $2,000 into it and he just wants to get his money back. The other customer is trying to get him to sell it for $3,000 and the owner declines and after the guy leaves, tells me the whole story about its cost, how it was his grandmother's and has no mileage and all these people are trying to get a better deal and rip him off when it is already a deal!

Well, I look at the car from a distance while he's talking and it happens to be my childhood dream car. It is THE car I wanted when I grew up. It's a Mercury Grand Marquis (I wanted a Lincoln Continental) and has automatic everything. It has air conditioning :-) which I had never had in a car, etc. My head starts going into overdrive LOL. My dead car is a Mercury Lynx, a year older than the Grand Marquis. It might not be fixable, has been a lemon since I bought it (died on an expressway in rush hour the day after I took it home brand new from the dealer) and I have no way to get home and here's this beautiful car, my dream, and I have a credit card on me, paid off, with an $8,000 limit. What to do? My husband is having his own adventures for the day, a Saturday, and I can't reach him.

Suddenly, a conversation between my husband and myself of a week earlier plays in my head.

"I trust your judgment!" my husband said. "We're on the same team."

I think about that and think about the decisions I've made the last 45 or so years and decide I agree :-) if only that my judgment was sound in marrying this man, LOL! I do have good judgment. And, all things considered, buying this car is a good idea.

The owner is the owner of a brand name gas station in a wealthy neighborhood. He's not going to be lying or cheating or not know what he's talking about because he's too "public" and if I got cheated I have too many ways I could make his life heck. He fixed the car himself and he's a genuine mechanic so it was no doubt done right. I can see the little details he did (had to put in a new head liner) and they're quality work. So, I offer him $3,500 for it. We decide on $3,750 (which he later says was $3,795) and I say "Charge it please!" :-) only that hits a snag as the brand name gas people frown on their owners using the gas station for their personal business but he does a temporary charge of $2,000 so I can take the car, and we agree I'll come back later in the afternoon with my husband and a check for the whole (and rip up the temporary charge). Man, I was on Cloud 9! Didn't bother doing the grocery shopping, LOL.

I drive home and my husband shows up soon after and I run over to his car and start babbling at him and he just sits in his car, patiently waiting (one of his strengths, he can wait until things are clear and he understands well :-) He later said he was afraid to get out of his car because I was so excited. But eventually he understood (I was a bit more excited than normal because the time I had agreed upon to be back at the gas station before it closed with the check was coming up) and we went and bought me the car.

The car was wonderful for 2-3 years then got totalled because it was stalled at a light and someone plowed into it. I wasn't in it. The insurance company instantly gave me $3,000 for it (not a bad return on those years of use) and I went and bought a second, used Grand Marquis.

But, think of your own story, SweetSunshine. You see how much mileage one can get from it? I just trot mine out and remember it whenever I'm worried I may be making a mistake and it helps me enormously?