Prefab--
I am not an expert but after reading so many posts and thinking about my own MI--it seems like being either overly or underly (numb) emotional is a sign of mental illness.
I think its good that you talk about your struggles here. That helps me. While some people on the depression forum talk about their struggles and have not recovered---I assume that the venting is helping them. Frankly, I worry most about people who are so depressed that they have no desire to post or get medical help. I am glad you are continuing to try to seek medical help. Yet I know that an appointment is not a cure--sometimes the medical professional available does not have the answer. If that happens, I guess all you can do is keep trying.
I think depression can be both situational and chemical. Having messed with medications for my depression and anxiety (quitting/upping/lowering dosages) -- I have decided that the antidepressant I take (Bupropion) really does help my depression when I take a low dose of it (150 mg). At higher dosages, I become absolutely manic. So if it made you feel better before, maybe try one again? Also, if you work long hours, perhaps you really need some rest to perform more optimally.
People of all ages are struggling to make it in today's economy. It is a jungle out there. Anyone who is not financially secure is going to have some anxiety associated with this terrible reality. Sometimes anxiety is a normal acknowledgement of reality. All we can do is try to channel that anxiety into actions that will help in a real way. And remember--Rome was not built in a day.... <<hugs>>