I just read this post and I would agree that something is up. You love your husband.....you have many years invested in it....don't just sit by and let it fall apart.....he needs to deal with this situation in his life....he will regret it if he were to lose you....you seem like a caring and understanding wife....many others would of hit him upside the head and walked out......do what you have to do to get him to talk and realize he is playing with fire....us men sometimes....well ...ok ...ALL THE TIME....are hard headed...lol......Good Luck