im sorry to hear about all this. to me it doesnt sound like money is the issue. to me this sounds like it goes much deeper than just financial. accusing someone of outrageous things sometimes means that they are the ones doing whatever theyre accusing you of. like when the jealous boyfriend constantly accuses his loyal girlfriend when hes the one cheating, or vise versa. i would say that you need to look at what the real problem is. tons of couples fight about money, if not all couples, eventually. but when you cant come up with a compromise is when you have a problem. the accusing you is what scares me especially if thats out of nowhere.

i would say to try and get out of him whats really going on. im a little paranoid but to me, it would occur to me that he is spending money on something he isnt supposed to. it also scares me that he used to have a problem with drugs and alcohol. has he been to any kind of counseling or gotten any help for it?