Quote:
Originally Posted by Catgirl26
Just after some honest advice...
So my ex-husband and I have been separated for over a year now and he has recently started seeing someone else. This new woman finds it very strange that he and I still have joint finances, including investment properties (one of which he is currently living in). She told him that she can't be with someone who is still attached like that to his ex. She finds the whole situation odd.
|
First her saying she can't be with someone who still shares finances with his ex, isn't reasonable, but that being said, it's between them. it is actually quite odd to remain in joint bank account with someone that clearly you dont' want to share anything else in your life with.. I'm actually asking the same question, why are you keeping finances together?
Quote:
|
I can understand that, but however, she also doesn't have permanent residency in Australia (comes from a large Italian family all currently living together in one mansion, also has 2 kids). She does not have a job as her psychology degree in Italy is not recognised here in Australia. They have already been speaking about marriage only after knowing each other for 1 month!! For me there are so many red flags.
|
What does any of this have to do with you? When you separated, you opted out of having any say in his choice of mate. If he wants to marry a beggar off the street, by separating from him you gave up the rights to object. He's your ex. Not sure why you're scrutinizing what type of woman he chose really.
Quote:
|
I think she is just after security to have a man provide for her financially and her kids and she isn't comfortable with the fact that my ex and I are still very amicable. We also have two young children together which is why we ensure that our relationship stays this way.
|
more of the same questions arise here. Why are you concerned here? It seems to me you still want to stake a claim on being able to scrutinize his life. Again, you dont' want to share a bed, home, and life with this man, but you want to have a say in his choice of women. Let it go.
Quote:
|
What are your thoughts on this situation? I'm upset that a stranger is already trying to lay ground rules in a subtle way and interfering in a 12 year long relationship and marriage that has only recently ended.
|
the bold faced portion is kind of telling. You want to be independent of him in almost all ways but you want to keep him on a string, or so it seems by this statement. You feel he should pick someone that's going to accept your oddly linked life with your ex, and to be honest, almost all women and men that date a person who's divorced or separated are not going to accept this.
Quote:
Am I over reacting? I'm such a mess right now. Part of me wants to be a cow and hold off on agreeing to a divorce and speaprating finances just to spite her and so she doesn't get her own way. But at the same time that is not good for myself. My ex and I agreed last year that there was no rush to do this. Funny how it only takes some one to come along and dictate what they want and men will just go along with it! 
|
Seems even though you, on the surface, have let your husband go, you actually haven't completely. The jealous reaction speaks volumes.