It's also hard to a male in society that says men need to be strong, stuff thier feelings, barrel through it...

I grew up in a family that didn't validate psychological issues, except to medicate it. Even then they questioned it, but were happy meds made a difference -- ritalin for ADD (which now looks like a mis-diagnosis).

So I have an ingrained sense that I need to strong and productive and being stuck my lazy boy and not even really knowing what to watch or what to play is a fault.

I also hate that I never get anything done...the house becomes a sty and then once its all piled up it feels like an impossible task to fix it....