I agree with ruh-roh. To be able to think, "i dont want you to win" is terrific. You know i always say, follow the fantasy. What would happen, how would you feel, if you did something that let him win? Or what if you just tell him, "i dont want you to win", and see what he comes back with?

Dont keep this treasure to yourself. You shared it with us. Yes, he is in your transference, but make him your partner in this endeavor as you have made us. im so excited for you