Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul
I haven't been stable, ever, I think..
But right now I'm in a bit of a conundrum...
I feel as if there is a battle of worlds happening, but I'm not really included...
Parts of me want this, desperately.
Other parts of me want something else, desperately..
I'm feeling really left out, distant, and just trying to manage the best I can...
I don't like drinking, I dont feel like drinking... But I'm trying to drink one hoping it calms my nerves...
I'm feeling so strange :/
The medication is helping but i just feel so foggy, like before... even when i was in rehab it was really bad...
mood swings... or switching... how do you tell the differenc
dunnos...
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If it's a mood swing, you'll feel your mood change for whatever reason.
If it's a switch, you shouldn't feel like you're the one experiencing that mood. Plus there are usually other signs if you have alters. Switches usually feel like nothing because you'll just black out and lose time, or if you're co-conscious it's like an extreme form of depersonalization and you're more along for the ride than experiencing it all firsthand. Do you know if you have alters, and co-consciousness with them?
It sounds like it's you who's having trouble with what you want, but you're kind of detached from it (probably from stress/anxiety) and have really depersonalized or dissociated from the situation so it feels like there's a battle going on.
Try to take some time to figure out what you want to do, and then find a way to stick with it. Is there someone you can talk to about the drinking? Do you still get support from rehab?