So yesterday I went over my bother's house. I typically consider my reason for being over there for my brother. Of course as siblings we are going to have stories and things to talk about. I always *try* to make fun of my brother and I always *try* so stick up for my SIL and try to engage her in conversation but...there is just little to talk about.

Yesterday was particularly hard. I am aware that I cannot talk about health with her. She believes COMPLETELY in the doctors and if the doctors told her to walk off a bridge she would. So that is off limits.

But I was talking about if how my cat got sick so that I couldn't reasonably take care of him, I would put him down and how I have put a cat down but I just left him at the front desk and left. But SIL's mom just went to tears and my brother told me it was a 'sensitive issue'. I am still not sure what I said or why it was a sensitive issue but, this lady had a cat like 20 years ago that it was painful to put down. 20 years ago!!

Later my brother brought up that my cousin always wants to do things with me but I just can't stand her. As gently as I could I explained my reasons... one of the reason is that this person eats while talking and food has flown into my face. And before even saying that, I mentioned I know I am not a perfect person but, if you must know. and out of no place my SIL screamed "can't we talk about something else!!"

Now, I understand she might not want to make fun of anyone and I didn't really think I was making fun of them... I am allowed to state my reasons.. but ... talk about walking on eggshells. I have every right NOT to like someone.

This is how I feel with EVERYONE. 99% of the time when I am talking with someone else.. they hurt my feelings but I have a bit of an ability to let things fall off my shoulders. But I feel like anytime I open my mouth I feel like I am walking on egg shells. I mean it isn't like I am trump but sometimes I feel I should be.

I only go over like 3 x per year and even that is becoming too much for me.