Quote:
Originally Posted by -Asphyxia-
my dislike for easter is because of abuse by a priest at Easter i found out through flashbacks and nightmares ...i was abused before then by friends of my mother when i was very young i found out through my sister who is 3 years older than me ...from a young age until i was 28 id expedience abuse from others ( rape and taken advantage off ) my husband came into my life and he been here ever since its been 12 years since then we been married 10 years now
my husband is also my carer as am unable to look after myself if it was up to me id stay in bed all day or be online with no day light coming in the house at all and most likely not bathe myself for a week i can very rarely go out on my own as i cant deal with being in public on my own
of late i have been interested in others with bpd and the sigma of Bpd and how people with bpd are cared for and how i can help others and help myself
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Unfortunately, abuse in one form or another will be something most people with BPD (myself included) will be able to relate to as that is one of the things that can "cause" BPD along with genetics and traumatic events during childhood like the death of a loved one or being victim to an extreme natural disaster or war, etc. I say that not to minimize your experiences of abuse and trauma, but to encourage you to continue opening up - it helps the healing process.
One thing I learned to help me with the healing process - is before I make decisions or as I feel extreme emotions (even if they initially seem legit) to stop and fully examine what it is I am feeling/deciding. What it is I would LIKE to do. What OTHER options I can think if I could possibly do instead. Figure out what the resulting "consequence" of each possible action/decision (including the one I would like to do). Figure out which is the healthiest choice to give me the best possible "consequence" (not all consequences are bad - they can be rewards too, it's merely the reaction to the action or decision you chose). The other was to force myself to stop thinking in terms of absolutes (never, always, all, none, nobody, everybody, etc) and instead replacing those words with "rarely", "most of the time", "most", "few", "few people", "most people", etc. As far as carers go - lean on those close to you for awhile, but do not become dependant on them - push yourself to take back as many responsibilities a little at a time as possible. It's a long journey - but one that's possible!
Take care ❤