I've never had mania, only hypo and mixed episodes. Hypomania feels nice at the beginning and 100% of the times I get that "hey, so this is how 'normal' people feel?". I feel productive and energized, I do all-nighters working and become expansive. Then it starts to get tiring, I can't sleep, I become aggressive towards people and/or jealous towards my bf OR I just don't care about him at all. I also get way too jumpy towards alcohol or drugs. This has never escalated into mania though.

But it has already escalated into mixed episode and then things get bad. I get self-destructive and suicidal. I'll write pages, pages and more pages of senseless ****, dissociate and talk to myself in the mirror... well... not nice.