I'm literally going back and forth, back and forth, with which forum to put this under. It is *both* Pets and Relationship, but I chose Relationship because this most has to do with the relationships with my parents even though the topic is about getting a dog.
My family is discussing getting another dog, so my continuation of "How to Convince My Parents" will be a topic that my parents are actually open-minded about (as opposed to the snake I've given up pressing about).
Before we begin, I'm a little more wiser when it comes to asking my parents. My mom wants to wait until Max passes away (he's 10). I can respect waiting. My dog is neurotic and my mom said he wouldn't handle another dog, which I disagree with but that's my mom's wish. Also, a lot can happen until he passes away. My hope is I will be financially stable with a long-term FT job and can handle the responsibilities with another dog.
But here's the problem. My mom is debating waiting until my parents retire in six years, and she's also debating not having a dog at all. Neither of those two things involve me, and it makes it sound like it's not a family dog at all. I know a lot can happen in six years. To my parents, it'll go by in a flash. To me, it seems like an eternity. I don't know what my living situation will be in six years. I'll be 30. My parents said I can live with them as long as I'd like. I might be caretaking for my grandparents. I might live on my own. I might be married. I have no idea.
But I don't want a family dog. I want my own dog, but my mom doesn't think I can handle the responsibilities of my own dog. She says I only like the idea of a dog. But here's the thing, I can't prove I can be responsible without my parents consent. Like everything I've ever had to prove to them, it all had to be their own idea before they let me take on more responsibility and then they never acknowledge that I am capable of doing it once I do it. It's never enough. When they told me it's time to pay for my own gas, I paid for my own gas. Then I offered to pay for my own phone and auto insurance, but my parents declined because they didn't think I could handle it until it became their own idea that I was ready to pay for it. My brother is 2 years younger than me, but he began paying for his own stuff before I was ever allowed to. It was months after my brother paid for his phone before I was allowed to pay for my own phone. My parents literally told me it was a bad idea until *they* realized it was a good idea. Same thing with auto insurance...my brother bought his own car with my parents help and paid for his own insurance, but I wasn't allowed to pay for my own insurance until my neighbors complained I drove too fast, then all of a sudden my parents had no choice but to make me pay for my own insurance and all of a sudden I was ready and it was a good idea. I literally can not take on more responsibility without my parents approval OR unless they come up with the idea on their own. And then they never acknowledge I'm being responsible and if I say I want to take on more responsibility, they'll find a reason why I'm not responsible.
Like the dog. My mom thinks I'm not responsible enough and that I only like the idea of a dog and couldn't handle caring for a dog. While I was pressing for a cat, they thought I was not responsible enough. Then for Christmas, my parents said because Evy was a gift, I don't have to pay for her vet bills. My parents WON'T let me pay for her vet bills or flea meds. I took Evy to the vet on my own once and it literally was against my parents will, and they viewed it as a a bad decision and a lesson learned because it was about $500 to be told my cat was stressed and the vet did nothing. They did, however, let me call and pay for a pet groomer. But they don't think that having an animal makes me responsible, and I don't want a dog to prove I'm responsible. I want a companion first and foremost.
I get cats and dogs are different, and I understand that dogs are more expensive and require a different level of attention, but I am more than responsible and financially capable of raising a dog. I'm almost 25 years old FFS. I wouldn't ask for a dog if I didn't think I couldn't handle it.
So here are two related questions: How can I prove to my parents I am responsible not only for a dog but in general? I want to move forward in life and I feel completely held back because my parents have to approve of everything I do. I do have to wait until Max passes away, but how can I move forward with wanting my own dog, not just a family dog? I'm afraid my parents have only their "retirement dog" in mind rather than a family dog, let alone my own dog.
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