This really stood out for me. Likely because when I was trying to figure stuff out with my former T, I got some incredibly wise advice on how an emotional / felt sense of trust / comfort with a T isn't something that you can think your way to. It's either just there or not there.

That's not to say that it's there entirely and in absolute terms from the very first session onwards but I've found that without at least some sense of it -- at least to the extent of being able to believe for oneself that there may come a time when I can trust this person with X thing -- it's pretty much impossible to do any in-depth therapy.

From your description, it sounds like there's a lot of regression but the T doesn't seem to be able to break through -- from a purely pragmatic perspective, I'd say four years is a heckuva long time for a T to not be able to make any inroads. Even if it's not so much a lack of skill, it sounds like the T may have run out of ideas?

I can imagine the depth of the attachment to this T but perhaps it's time to at least consider looking for a new T?