Sorry to hear about what you had to go through.

I feel that way often as well - hating to be around people onnthe train because i feel they are all looking and judging me, or just wanting to sleep all day. I know it sounds corny and cliche to say, but just forcing yourself to get up and get that fresh breath of air and feeling the sun on your face while listening to some great music will at the very least make me feel alive, bumps me up a bit for the rest of the day, its worth giving it a try, even if its early when nobodies outside.