Dear Dr S, this is hard, too hard. I am feeling... I don't know.. lots of different things and in there is still the missing and loving you. I want to hate you but I don't, I want to be mad at you but I'm not. Why does this have to be so hard? - love me

Thank you jDNA, your talk did help me this evening, it helped a lot in clarifying why this is an issue for me.

To those of you here at PC - I should be going pretty quiet for the next 48-60 hours or so due to work related trip. I should be back, and in and out.