I, too, have had problems studying all my life. I'm one of those people who can't be bothered unless there's some sort of terrifying stimulus involved (test is tomorrow, grades dropping, parents would disown me, etc.). Studying has always been unenjoyable, stressful, and even depressing to me, no matter how early I do so, or how much. And I can't take more than maybe an hour or so a day before literally pulling my hair out and scratching my face. Yet, in the end, somehow, it's worked ok for me. Of course, I don't recommend waiting till the last minute if you can avoid it.

I’ve always had problems doing things I feel like I’m being forced or pressured to do. Studying being one of those things. There doesn’t necessarily have to be someone hovering over my shoulder actually telling me to do things to make me feel resentful and depressed. Though that would probably make me want to turn to violence if that ever happened. If just the mere circumstance makes me feel like I have to study, I don’t want to do it. Because if it’s something I have to do, then I’m not acting of my own free will. It’s forced, and insincere. And I’m not necessarily doing it because I want to.

Though, arguably, we never do things of our own free will. We are slaves to our own bodily and mental needs. But I would like to at least keep the illusion that I actually have a choice. I often had to trick myself into thinking that I wasn’t studying just for fear of getting a bad grade or my peers looking down on me or something. I had to trick myself into thinking that I could actually live just fine even without going to college, and that I was doing this because I actually wanted to. But it hardly ever worked because deep down I knew I would be unhappy no matter what the circumstance.

Anyway. Sorry about the rant. I guess I don’t really have much advice. But you have my sympathy. Studying can be absolute hell.