OMG! I feel for you... This sounds really difficult. But you did ask for it somehow...

With former T, she actively encouraged me to email her inbetween sessions. Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't. Quite often I said, let's talk about this when we see each other. Still, she'd always send a short reply, even if it just said that she'd read it all and see you next week.

I found it easier to get into the difficult subjects, knowing that she'd know the most important bits of information. Somehow this made it possible to open up more. Or open up at all.

Current T quickly noticed that I started to use email to avoid direct confrontation with her. Because I'd often write about things that she said/did in session that didn't go down well with me. Not really accusing her, but lots of musings and ramblings why I might be finding this and that difficult, and how I feel about it, etc.

She wants me to bring those things up in our conversation. Whenever they happen. Or whenever I realize that they bug me. Even if I realize afterwards, so I'll have to come back to this the next time we'd see each other. Difficult stuff, for me.

For the time being, email is for emergencies only. Or if I really cannot talk about something. It didn't go down to well with me initially, but over the months I can see that she did the right thing in pushing me a bit.

Actually, reading my emails out loud to her would have been more difficult than just having the conversations about those topics. So maybe it is worth giving a try wether you can jump directly into those difficult topics, without emailing first, to me this seems more natural. Or you could still write to your T, but not send the email, so you'd collect your thoughts and you know what you need to talk about? Just a suggestion.