Thanks Salukigirl & Perma,

My heart is broken but I guess it can mend. Yes I still do love him, why I don't know. He says he loves me, but just not the same as before. I agree that staying together just for the kids is not good either, but it's more than just that. I am dependent on him financially and for at least some security. I hug my son all the time and he at least has his father and mother together even though it's not like I had imagined it to be. He would be devastated if we were to divorce and who would he live with. Not me for sure, I couldn't afford anything, not even a place to live, no health insurance etc... I want to get over this sick feeling of not being loved and start working on me such as losing weight. I'm sure once I lose weight he might see me in a different light. He's not an unconditionally love type of person like I am. But most of all, losing weight will make me feel better and gain some self esteem back.

Anyway thanks you two for coming to my rescue. At least I can give you guys a hug.