I woke up with a deep sadness which still hurts from inside.
I went to therapy since I was 13, on mild AD's since 14. Quit therapy in 17 and stopped the AD's near the age of 19.
Afterwards I went to therapy nearly a year ago, but only for 7 months, as I felt the therapist is more crippling than helping.

I feel horribly sad for my life's outcome. I am alone and I fear people. I also fear my feelings because they lean towards men and I hate that. I always wanted to love women with my heart and I just... it's hard.

I've always felt I'm being weakened, that my full potential has never been released. People allow themselves to unleash their full selves, which can have harmful effects on some people, while serving their self-growth.
I feel being empathetic is a weakness (though I'm not sure if I'm even one anymore) because I'm just never concerned about my own success that way.

I don't like hearing advice from people who "have it easy". For instance, a person who's in a relationship, telling you that "relationships aren't everything", or "You can be a great partner". I envy them, even if they are considered friends.

My big brother is more successful than I am, but I feel something controlling to him. I'm weak, our family's relationships are empty (we just exist as roommates pretty much), and I just wish I could be strong... but strong people hurt others.

I had a best friend who scarred quite a few people (including me) and he's done nothing about it. He's interests have been improving his social life, unleashing his full self and he's now studying economics and media at the local university for his interest. He's thriving, but he's hurt people, and they are left with their scars.
Proof? He mentioned that fact in a Facebook discussion, but went on to talk with his fans and other people, moved on from the subject which he just mentioned. People probably think "Wow, he's so mature for confessing that crime, he's a good person" like a bunch of idiots.
I wish there was something you could do to someone who's causing you to mentally suffer, like a mental health police.