Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
You contradict yourself by stating this is a place where advice and support should be given after saying we shouldn't tell anyone what to do. Exactly how does one give advice without actually telling someone what we think they should do?
I may be wrong but I assume your last statement was in response to mine. If you have a problem with anything I say or think it's not supportive or is disruptive and/or offensive please take it up with the admins and just report my post. Calling other posters out like this in the thread is also not supportive or productive to the op.
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You're right that this isn't supportive to the OP's original issue, but I do feel that without someone pointing this out, the OP may feel judged and pressured. People should feel that they're given support from different angles and know that not everyone sees it one way.
The biggest thing is that some people use I statements or suggest what they would do in the situation. Most people are offering their suggestion, and leaving it fairly open ended. You've more than once stressed that he "must" and "should" do so and so and that's the only option that leads to a solution.
When it comes to relationships, I don't think anyone ever has a definitive answer as all relationships are unique and have their own nuances. I think it's most helpful to offer your thoughts and what you might do in the situation, but unhelpful to say what someone should/must do and that it's the only solution.
Anyways I'll leave it at that. We can all go back to the OP's issue now.