Thanks for the further explanation. Context is everything. It disadvantages the listener (we here at pc) and you, but it's interesting that even without this information, the arrows have generally pointed toward finding another therapist.

Analysis is really demanding work. I tried it a few times and couldn't take it. I wonder if the one you saw for the year in between worked better because he was slightly more engaging or revealing of himself? I only say that because you mentioned his personality. For me, in doing such deep work, I have to have a sense of the therapist as a human being. Not that analysts aren't human, but there is a kind of confrontation with the self that takes place due to the void or vacuum of analysis--again, I found it to be brutal.

You've done a good job of boxing yourself in by limiting other options, but I understand that if you want analysis, you want analysis, and this is what comes of that. I'm glad to know you had one good experience with it and I hope you consider that a lot of the success had to do with the analyst and your connection to each other. It's so important.