Hi I am not sure if it is your brother or your best friend causing you to hurt,I agree though there should be some sort of policing to stop others hurting us mentally and emotionally.

I am sorry that you are alone and fear people.It was like that for me,I still get lonely but I don't fear people so much since I healed the hurt some people caused me years ago.
I am not sure what you mean by,' I lean towards men','but want to give my heart to women',?Are you saying that you are sexually attracted to men,but have been socially conditioned to only think of women that way?

I am not sure either why you feel you can't unleash your potential without hurting others.I am the same though I have a creative streak that I fear indulging cos it will leave me exposed and also I fear I may become more powerful than I can handle.

I can talk with you about all this if you like.I do identify with some of your issues myself.I am sorry things are so hard for you atm and that other people have hurt and are still hurting you!