Hi WhatdidIexpect, I just want to say that you had a lot to contend with in your marriage ,caring for people that are ill takes a lot of strength and patience,it was hard for you to support your wife through such debilitating conditions and have her mother and father ill too.Then when her father died to have her mother move in and need help 24/7,it is a burden I think so anyway.I think you did your best to help them all, then when your wife became verbally abusive,never allowing you to finish a sentence and saying you weren't good enough compared to so and so''s husband,on top of her hoarding habits,I am not surprised your heart was no longer in it.I don't think you deserve to feel guilty or are guilty of any wrongdoing.

If you can heal from this then do so and decide what direction your life will take and make sure you do something that is meaningful and will make you happy.Whether that is to find a new partner or pursue interests of your own is your decision.I wish you well and please don't feel bad or guilty,although sad is ok cos twenty years is a long time to have been with someone and lose them,grief affects everyone,so take time to reflect with your therapist.Good wishes to you.