Hi Reb569, thanks for all that. With my daughter she often portrays a level of emotional maturity that surprises not only me, but also her school counsellors she's spoken to. I usually have the best conversations with my children when I'll go walk the dog with one of them, and usually this is when they'll open up a bit, and chat about things going on in their lives. And I think from what N has said, having school counsellors she can chat to has been particularly beneficial. She has certainly suffered distress, and so it's certainly something I'll keep very much in mind.

With my son I think I will mention it to his head of year once school starts again, but then I'd rather intially point out to him that his behaviour seems to fit a pattern that indicates ODD, and try and encourage a greater degree of self-awareness that might help him manage his behaviour better. He's a very smart and capable boy, and I'm sure with the right encouragement and motivation he can do its. Whilst it's very likely the school will be able to help best, I'm very cautious - and likely mistakenly so - of giving authority reason to simply label him as someone with a disorder. It's difficult to explain how I feel about all that. I suppose chatting to someone who knows about these issues will help me come to a more informed decision. And hopefully so with my wife and her problems.

Thanks again for the reply.