Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Cat
Wow. I'm in the UK too. What struck me when I read this was that the issues you describe with your children, you're the one thinking about how to help them, not you and your wife, yet they're her children too.
You can't fix everything all at once. Yet trying to do things step by step is difficult, because it's all connected. So I would work on a support plan first. Financial and practical. Do as much preparation as you can. In terms of savings, accommodation, understanding where you sit legally, finding out about mental health support networks, looking for a good therapist...... all of that. It's like building a house from scratch. No one just goes ahead and does it without a lot of organisation first. You will always find plenty of reasons to struggle with this (GCSEs and so on) but there's never a good time. The situation sounds unbearable and the longer you leave it, the harder it will be. So start your research! Here are some websites
(Links removed by me, Rob1713, otherwise I can't quote and post due to not having made 10 posts myself, and therefor the site won't allow me.)
Good luck!  |
Hi Little Cat, thanks, and thanks for the links; they will definitely prove useful, especially the first couple. I think anyone - such as yourself - reading my first post the best course of action would probably be rather obvious, and that's definitely something I have this perpetual struggle with, because deep down inside I don't fully believe it is the best course of action (divorce). I certainly think at least preparing for it as you describe will no doubt be helpful though.
See, despite everything, I still care about her. And I think one of the reasons I still do is because I can really see she needs help. And I also believe if she found herself divorced, and more importantly without her children, she would find her life unbearable. And so sometimes when the storms in our relationship eventually fizzle out, it becomes easier for me NOT to deal with it, and not take positive action that'll likely lead to divorce, because to do so may likely see her literally destroyed emotionally as a person. And for the sake of my kids, and myself, and her, I want to do everything I can to avoid that. And maybe this avoidance is very much part of the whole problem too.
Again, it's hard to describe how I feel about it all. I don't think I'm doing a good job of it. At the very least, I do see that I need to get some help myself over it all, and now it seems to be more the case of finding the right professional who can.
Thanks.