my dad had has been sober over 30 years . He quit when I was 6. He had a heavily ****ed up childhood and was a raging alcoholic and a destructive one at that. I thank God he quit when he did and became the remarkable man he is today
staying sober for him has involved doing things like pushing his body to the limits with snowboarding running biking hiking. He tricks that little reward center in his brain into producing natural endorphins. He he also feels accomplished when he sets goals and reaches them

me his daughter with bipolar sweetly handed down from mostly his side of the family and who developed an addictive personality as well is also in search for a natural high. I'm even considering skydiving and I'm on an exercise plan now to see if I can start pushing my body to go into beast mode.
Also it helps to have a purpose in life. you just need to find yours. you are very empathetic and perhaps you could become a peer support person or something
I'm rooting for ya!