Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastel Kitten
My mom had an extremely abusive childhood and as a result, is very much like a broken child herself. She never got help for it. Growing up, this was very damaging to me. She definitely sent me mixed signals of love/hate.
Like what subtle lights said, my mom has a lot of fear and anxiety so role reversal started coming into play by the time I was 13. I was her personal therapist and/or mom.
It did show up in more mild instances throughout very early childhood though, like with needing reassurance from me about her own actions.
My mom is actually empathetic with me nowadays, but that's because after so many years of invalidating me she realized that she shares many of the same emotional struggles I do (thanks to her).
That empathy wasn't there growing up.
Parents who are hurt themselves really need to get help before having kids, in my opinion...
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Imagine a glass and a pitcher. The glass is fragile and can only receive warm water. Too much cold or too much heat and it will break from the impact. Along the years people were not careful and would just pour a little too much heat or a little too much cold until the entire glass from bottom to top was fractured. All over - some huge fractures, some small ones. The only thing keeping the glass together was a thin film that covered the entire glass. Otherwise, without it - it would have entirely fallen to pieces from day one.
So it is with us. We NEED pure love to live, love and laugh. It is our energy. It is who we are. It is the way we were designed. Without PURE love we fracture. Our brains and bodies can't deal with altered energy in any other way but by breaking down. Too much hate, we collapse and withdraw, eventually this programming becomes self-hate. Too much coldness and we shut-down, we ignore our feelings until we're physically sick with *deficiencies*. Mixed signals send us into confusion where WE DO NOT KNOW WHO WE ARE. That is the end-result of MIXED signals.